Am I Lost?

Last Thursday night I sat in an auditorium full of 3500 leaders from across the US. We had just gotten back from dinner and were expecting to soon be led in worship by Phil Wickham, who currently sits atop the Christian AC chart with his first #1 single "This Is Amazing Grace". Instead, we got a friend of his reading a letter of regret informing us that he would not be with us. In the letter, he wrote that his "heart was full at the thought of lifting up a song of worship with you all, and having to bow out has been very frustrating to say the least." He explained, "While leading worship last weekend on a tour through New England, my vocal cords hit a wall. I felt a drastic change in my voice, and I knew something wasn't right. It was like a guitar with broken strings. I knew where the notes should be, but they just weren't there. We cancelled the following shows, and I had to wait several days until I could see a doctor and get some answers." Wickham wrote that his reaction to the news was unexpected. "I would have guessed fear, or frustration. Maybe even desperation. But it wasn't those things. I felt lost," he said in the letter. "I realized right then how closely I tied my own worth with my voice. My worth as a provider. My worth as a leader. My worth as a person. Though now it sounds a bit melodramatic, I sat silent alone in my hotel room that night wondering, 'What am I worth without a voice? Who am I without it?'

Wow, Phil Wickham felt lost. The man who wrote and sang the current #1 song on top of the Christian charts...lost and questioning his worth. So today I challenge myself these few questions:

What in my life am I attaching my own self worth to?

What is my worth as a provider?

What is my worth as a leader?

What is my worth as a person?

What am I worth without........?

In the end, and prayerfully in the meantime, it's all His...

Looking ahead to 2011

2010 came and went and we allowed our 10^th year anniversary fade without much fan-fare. And I’m perfectly fine with that. Not that this ministry that God birthed doesn’t deserve to be celebrated. It does. But I want it to be celebrated mostly in the hearts and minds of those we have served. And in that, we don’t need a 10 year anniversary sticker or a plaque. We just need to reflect on memories. I’m a firm believer that if you need to tell someone how important you are, there is a problem. We try to let our importance in our community (and in the Lord) speak for itself. Because God began this work, He will complete it. He will sustain it. He will challenge it. He will grow it. He will shrink it. He will use it. This whole deal is His. Our total reliance is in Him. We are His tools. It’s all for His glory. We remain focused on Him. Whatever He chooses for us and for AYM, that’s what we will do.

Our country’s economic position has many people and organizations reeling financially. Lately we’ve felt the crunch. Over the last 2 months I’ve received more notifications for cutbacks than ever before. As I write this letter a photo of our first youth group hovers over my screen. I can’t help but think back to the day that Darcy and I moved our family into a dumpy reservation house with no windows, doors, or flooring. We had no furniture except a bunk bed and a dresser for her and I and our 2 boys. She was pregnant so I gave her the bottom bunk along with one of our boys. What kept us there? This group of young people. Being there for them, loving them, teaching them, crying with them, and inspiring them to be great in the Lord. Just from this photo, I can share one victory…Tonya. The girl with the smile (top, center). She’s married with a beautiful daughter. She and her husband live in Phoenix and are working with a little church and dreaming of ways to impact the community they live in through this church. Darcy and I are proud god-parents to their baby girl and they stop and visit us whenever they are in town. How did this happen? The equation is really pretty simple. God plus passionate, genuine, and servant hearts. Not Darcy’s and mine…yours. God uses the humble to serve and inspire…all for His glory.

That was the past. Looking to the future we know that Jesus will use us this year to “empower Apache youth to impact the world”. I could probably come up with a list of 50 great reasons you should be a proud supporter of AYM and our staff this year, but for simplicity, let me specifically name 5:

1. We have staff living in our ministry house ready to serve this community every day of the week, every week of the month, and every month of the year.

2. Every weekday after school we will have staff in our youth center waiting at the door ready to serve, love, and mentor over 60 teens that come to hang-out.

3. Every week we will lead a discipleship group. We will build meaningful relationships. We will teach the Word of God and allow it to transform lives.

4. We will employ our youth and other community members in our “real-world” screen print shop (Little Bluebird Studios), mentoring them on many levels including life and business skills.

5. We will host, train, and develop teams from all over the country, inspiring them to appreciate the Apache people and to do great things in the communities in which they live.

Many of you have served alongside us and partnered with God work through us for many years and have also fallen in love with the people that we serve. Thank you for sharing in this work and, along with that, you share in the victories that we’ve experienced.

All For Jesus,

Ron Everingham, Executive Director

Apache Youth Ministries

ron.everingham@apacheyouth.com

The End Of A Decade...The Start Of A New.

We started this decade of ministry on complete trust and faith in Jesus and in what He can do. I can't believe how God has moved in my life, and in the lives of those around me, in this decade. I stand in awe. I believe that it is with the same kind of faith and trust (and possibly even more) that tomorrow we will begin anew. God has been SO gracious!
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How could I even begin to thank everyone or even think of all that has gone on since 2000? Over these years we have had amazing staff and supporters...truly unique and awesome people! We have also been completely blessed with so many friends that have come alongside of us (from all over the country) and shown us the kind of love that only comes with being in the family of God. It seems we have experienced every extreme. We have rejoiced with many who have given their lives to Jesus, cried with those who have experienced death, witnessed miracles, and seen His many blessings. We have advanced in ministry with a clear vision, clarity, and the will to persevere on God's path, come what may.

I have so many fond memories, but more importantly I have grown to love and trust Jesus more and more....month by month....and year by year. He has entrusted us, empowered us, and strengthened us. All Glory to Him....it's all for Him....only He is worthy.

I anxiously await these next years...thank you for your partnership.

Be The Touch

(thoughts from Furtick and Acts 9)

Henri Houwen once said that "the greater part of God's work in the world may go unnoticed" and this should comfort us to know that God is working in unknown areas AND disturb us to action...to drive us the point of humbly being a part of that subversive greater work. It's not about us.

Acts chapter 9:10-19. God taps on the shoulder of one of His servants, Ananias. This dude is an interesting character....seems like a simple guy who is kind of minding his own business and God shows up in a vision. He proceeds to tell him to go to the house of a well known Christian killer and deliver a message and a healing touch. I love Ananias's obedience. He trusted God. He went. He touched the killer and the scales fell from the eye's of Saul. Saul goes on to become Paul, who becomes one of the biggest missionary Heroes to the gentiles (most of us reading this) in the Bible.

Obviously, this story got some publication. Most of us have read it. However, what about the countless stories of those ordinary people that provide "the touch" in the mundane and regular areas of life that we don't read about? Acts of love, faith, obedience, done in humility go unnoticed every second of everyday. This is what we need to be for others. We need to act out of a calling from God to go into the dangerous and uncomfortable areas of life and, by His Spirit and His power, touch others so that they may be redeemed for His purposes! Be the touch...

A Beautiful Collision

Here is an excerpt from a letter that I wrote to a long-time friends upon hearing that they would no longer be able to support AYM due to retiring....A little reminiscing of how God made a beautiful collision into my life...

All of this is to say thank you for your trust, sacrifices, and prayers for what God is doing through us. I pray that God would continue to put a dream (a vision for purpose) in the simple nobody’s….the most unassuming congregants of GCC… just as he did with a young punk, home-grown kid like me…

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth would even care to know my name? It was somewhere around 1994 when we were invited by friends to attend an Easter cantata at GCC. Darcy and I were newly married (1991) and quickly had two beautiful boys. Both of us had grown up un-churched but we both were set on taking the boys to church because we thought it would be the right thing to do for them. We couldn’t have been more wrong…the Lord was revealing Himself to us too! His love, grace, redemption, and calling became so irresistible that we soon found ourselves going forward to be saved from our sins and be totally committed to His call on our lives. We learned so much in those early years…the young married class was amazing and we developed close supporting friends there. A youth mission’s trip to Arizona was when God really spoke to my heart about stepping out. I’ll never forget when it happened….a little native girl looking up at me with love as she clung to my leg up on the Navajo rez. God used that hug and the silence of a child to ask me, ”Ron, could you do something for me?”

Me? I love the story of Jesus and the disciples in Matthew 14:13 and on (and illustration points by Andy Stanley). I’m sure you’re familiar with it… the disciples went to Jesus with a big problem…too many people, too little food and they are all in a solitary place…in the middle of nowhere and everyone is hungry. The disciples go to Jesus with their plan…send everyone away so they can go into town and get something to eat. Jesus says to them the people don’t need to be sent away, they need to be fed. They give Him the excuse, thousands of people… only 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish. Jesus gently says bring the food to Me and then gives it back to them to pass out. Everyone gets fed and there is extra.
Immediately after this story Jesus invites Peter to walk on water.

These stories could sum up my calling. I never thought I had much to offer God. I considered myself a simple man with little education and a desire to go wherever He would lead me. Like the disciples, I too would have doubted what God could do around or through me. And Jesus tells me the same thing He told them…you give Me all you have and trust Me to do what only I can do. Give Me your “fish”….step out of your comfort zone (your boat) and trust Me to do what only I can do.

I’m deeply humbled to have watched God work through me. I’ll never feel worthy but I’ll always be grateful and amazed at all that He has done through me as I have been available to serve and inspire hundreds of Native youth throughout the years. He has given me an amazing platform to bring a message of hope, love, purpose, and redemption to a broken and over-looked people group. And now, He is teaching me how lead a fast-growing organization that year-by-year is enlarging its impact on the Ft. Apache Indian Reservation.

There have been times that people have said to me “you can’t” or “you’ll never” because of my lack of whatever. But I’ll continue to declare that no matter who is with me, or around me, or supporting me…I’ll continue to believe that I can do all things through Him who strengthens and empowers me and stand back and watch in awe as He does what only He can do.

Your 10+ years of faithful support amazes me, thank you. May God bless you both as you serve Him at GCC and beyond.

Giving all I am and trusting Him to do what only He can do…

Belief

This morning I was told by a 5 year old that God wasn't real and neither was Jesus for that matter. Now, I've been in ministry for 10 years and, without a doubt, I've prayed with...encouraged...and taught many along the way. I've learned that you never really know when "ministry" happens. Even in all your preparation, planning, scheming, and dreaming....you just never know when God will use you...we just have to be ready. We have quite a blessed family...7 kids in all. They range in ages from 16 down to 18 months. On good days I can recall birth dates and ages (and even my anniversary if I try real hard). Our youngest ones have been saturated in Christian living since birth...as long as they can remember. It's been a lifestyle for them...church, AWANA, and they are even blessed to attend a Christian school. Most mornings I have the honor of driving my daughter and my son to school. We have a blast on this 15 minute trip! Usually singing praise songs (lately they've been begging for Tomlin's "sing, sing, sing"). We rock it out...just our little 3-man air band. This morning, between songs, Corban (my 5 year old) makes his big announcement (that God wasn't real)...and my response is just as important for me to remember as it is for him.

I loved watching the smile on his face as I responded to the crisis of belief in his little mind. He didn't even need to respond, it was a big "amen!". I said, "Corban....if God isn't real then: who made the sun rise this morning, can any person do that? And who hung the stars in place, could any of us ball up stars in our hands and toss them up to the sky? And what about the air we are breathing, who gave us that? And where does love come from, can we make that? And why would we sing to Him every morning?". Bless her heart, my 8 year old daughter chimes in with the rhetorical question...."yeah, and who heals us?" His grin confirmed his error and was proof of his re-affirmed belief.

So, I guess God addresses the doubts in my little mind the same way this morning. He says, "Ron...am I really able to be the giver and sustainer of your whole life? And will you trust Me with every part of your life...even the parts you don't think you need My help with? And am I able to provide your every need even in a troubled economy? And am I able to heal the hopeless around you? And, by the way, where does hope come from anyhow, who created it? And am I able to humble kings and kingdoms for My sake? And who can over-throw the proud and raise up the humble? And who fills the hungry and ushers in justice? And who brings mercy to generation upon generation?And....and....and......" This morning I feel a little like Job and utter similar sentiments..."Lord, I know that you can do all things, and no purpose of yours can be thwarted. Who am I to worry...or doubt....or question? You are sovereign and you supply our every need. We have heard of You but, because of Your work in our lives, we can now see Your love and provision. I repent in dust and ashes."

After my declaration of truth in the car, we went on to the next song in our set and I have to tell you, our little 3-man air-band sang "sing, sing, sing" with more belief than ever.....

He's worthy of everything we have...it's all His.

and they do crash...

There is no greater impotence in all the world like knowing your are right and the the wave of the world is wrong, yet the wave crashed upon you.

-Norman Mailer

I was born and grown in Indiana. Darcy and I met in a field, near a pig barn, north of US 33 in the mid-80's. We never dated until after we both were out of high school. Our life together was jump-started with the birth of our boys...just 13 months apart. It wasn't long after our boys were born and we were "doing" life that we began to stumble on questions of how to raise our them. Because of an invitation, we began getting involved with a community of believer's in an growing church. Our life would never be the same. I guess you could say that our hearts were as fertile and the black fields of Northern Indiana. Seed fell, it was nurtured, and our Spirits grew.

One of the families that we spent many years serving alongside ended up leaving the church the same year as us...and for the same reason: to go and serve a people group. They too have an amazing God story. As we left for the mountains of Arizona, they left for Zimbabwe. In just 10 years time, I am in awe of what God has done through them. They have established a self-sufficient AIDS orphanage, and all from nothing. This is a farm that feeds the community and is a home for precious children that need care...Eden's Children Village has become an amazing work of God, and all through simple servants...

I'd say it's true that what may be a dangerous idea to some almost makes sense to others of us. And as witnesses and servants to the Almighty, the messengers of His good news...I hope that we are all intently working on the destruction left by the storms of this life. As our battle here against the effects of alcohol, drugs, and physical and mental abuse rages on, our friends in Zimbabwe face the tyranny of a corrupt government and a ruthless leader that threatens to burn down the farm and kill. Both atrocities cry out for Divine interruption. Let's be honest...we are fools if we don't recognize that we have an enemy that seeks to fight until we lose hope and stop believing that He can make all things right. I know that I've been slapped around more than once and I have to admit that my faith is sometimes weak as doubt and frustration creep in. But lest I get too comfortable in my pity and entertain thoughts of apathy (to come and take the pain of being so close to suffering away), I must find the strength to pray and claw my way back to understanding that my Hope is in the Lord...the battle isn't mine.

Late last summer I gave a message at the funeral of a 16-year old Apache girl. It was a heart-breaking ordeal but I had the chance to spend time with some of her friends that really needed hope. One of the girls, that I tried to reach out to during that time, still comes around our youth center. I always go out of my way to try to talk to her. I'm usually the last person that she wants to see...and she usually makes sure that I know that. I've gathered that she's been mis-handled her whole life and her scars show it. It saddens and disturbs me that such a precious child has had to take such abuse. And even though she was always sure to reject and curse me, I tried to show Jesus's love and model of His grace. That pattern didn't stop until yesterday. As I was working behind the counter at our youth center she came up to me and asked me if I had time to talk...

I love the word empathy (the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experiences of another). And I think that Jesus had a lot of it. This is the word that best describes my feelings as I'm listening to broken and confused souls. Empathizing with someone helps me to understand where they've been. And with that understanding comes a realization that answers aren't simple, and solutions will take resources, sacrifice, and discipline. As she cried she shared what I had suspected all along and what the cuts on her arms testified to...I was talking to a lovely girl who had been broken by her environment over and over again. And each time she healed her scars got a little thicker. So there I was looking at a very scarred little 16-year old...afraid to let anyone close to her again for fear of the hidden weapon. This hurdle between us was only knocked over by showing continued love and grace amidst relentless rejection. Which is exactly the kind of patience God shows towards us (thankfully). So she shares that she's been neglected, used, and abused everything from alcohol to cocaine to meth. She sobbing that she doesn't have any hope and doesn't know where to turn. She thinks her alcoholic mother and non-existent dad both hate her. She considers suicide but stops short when she thinks of her little sister...who would take care of her? She shared, I listened, we prayed and as I headed to my car (asking God why it has to be)...I see her and her sister walking down the sidewalk towards home...alone.

I wish it weren't true. I wish it didn't have to be like this. I wish I had a solution for her, to pluck her from her sin infested environment. But I don't. And although I could list many, many wishes I'll always come back to the Gift. The Gift given to me (and her) that if I would only trust...and wait...and pray...and perservere....He is faithful to give us more than we could ever ask for or imagine. And oh, how I wish we could all pray that prayer on behalf of others hurt instead of our pocketbooks, or church buildings, or vehicles...or comfort.

So...Sarah....Kevin....Susan....the families of "Eden"....and those of you who may be hurting too....this song's for you.....May the Lord empower us to fight through these storms together and I pray that we will not be made impotent by the waves of wrongs in this world.