Last Thursday night I sat in an auditorium full of 3500 leaders from across the US. We had just gotten back from dinner and were expecting to soon be led in worship by Phil Wickham, who currently sits atop the Christian AC chart with his first #1 single "This Is Amazing Grace". Instead, we got a friend of his reading a letter of regret informing us that he would not be with us. In the letter, he wrote that his "heart was full at the thought of lifting up a song of worship with you all, and having to bow out has been very frustrating to say the least." He explained, "While leading worship last weekend on a tour through New England, my vocal cords hit a wall. I felt a drastic change in my voice, and I knew something wasn't right. It was like a guitar with broken strings. I knew where the notes should be, but they just weren't there. We cancelled the following shows, and I had to wait several days until I could see a doctor and get some answers." Wickham wrote that his reaction to the news was unexpected. "I would have guessed fear, or frustration. Maybe even desperation. But it wasn't those things. I felt lost," he said in the letter. "I realized right then how closely I tied my own worth with my voice. My worth as a provider. My worth as a leader. My worth as a person. Though now it sounds a bit melodramatic, I sat silent alone in my hotel room that night wondering, 'What am I worth without a voice? Who am I without it?'
Wow, Phil Wickham felt lost. The man who wrote and sang the current #1 song on top of the Christian charts...lost and questioning his worth. So today I challenge myself these few questions:
What in my life am I attaching my own self worth to?
What is my worth as a provider?
What is my worth as a leader?
What is my worth as a person?
What am I worth without........?
In the end, and prayerfully in the meantime, it's all His...